Giant Gundam over Tokyo

Apart from those awesome French people with the Space Princess, London has some pretty dull modern landmarks. The Millenium Wheel. Meh. The Millenium Bridge. Bah. The O2 Dome. Yawn.

Over in Tokyo, however, the Japanese really know how to party. They do things properly. Take this, for instance - the monster Gundam they have assembled over Tokyo, that's as high as a seven story building.

For even more awesome pictures - and video! Yes! - head on over to the Flickr blog.

Meatcards!

The chaps over at Meatcards have a great competition running at the moment. They will create your own, personalised business cards, by burning them out of beef jerky with a laser.

Yes, read it again - it is that cool. They will laser meat to create your business cards. Awesome!

The competition is to submit your own real-life re-enactment of one of three of Frank Frazetta's iconic fantasy art paintings.

Head on over to the competition page at http://www.meatcards.com/challenge/ for the full list of rules, and to see some of the winners that have been chose so far.

The Plan of Attack: Royal Ascot Week

This is something I wrote up last year, when planning how on earth I could park my car, catch the train from Ascot station, and not totally lose my mind in the drunken toff insanity that is Royal Ascot week.

This is what I came up with:

---

1. is platform 2, where the Waterloo -> Reading train stops
2. is where the underground tunnel comes out - normally you'd turn immediately right and go up the steps to the front of the station. But this has security barriers in place to stop you doing that - in fact, there are security barriers in place to stop you even *exiting* the tunnel
3. is where you finally escape the barriers and get into the Jazz cafe carpark - which is filled with marquees and Drunken Fuckers
4. is where the security barrier is based, replete with machine gun toting police marksmen
5. is the entrance to the carpark. So tantalisingly close!
6. is where my car is parked - even more tantalisingly close!
7. is the (normally locked) gate which allows the Honda garage access to the (shared with SWT/Railtrack) carpark - this is how you now exit the carpark
8. is the vehicle entrance to the Honda garage, and where you know exit on to the main road

Looking at the map, two new options pop up:

1) go the opposite way through the tunnel, coming out in a housing estate near QV London (the ace Ferrari mechanics). You then have a 5 minute walk through the estate, under the railway, and then back up the road to 8.

2) from 3., walk out to the road, then down the road to 8.

Both of these assume there would be no police presence at 8., allowing free entrance to the carpark and retrieval of my car!

Royal Ascot opens on Tuesday, which means the defensive perimeter (yes, it's really called that by the security goons who staff it - there were even signs calling it that last time) will be in place, allowing time to check out the defenses this time round.

Amusingly, the gun-toting cops and the security search at 4. is pointless - because if I wanted to commit a terrorist act, I'd do it by blowing shit up at 2., where the crowd is most dense, and contained in a submerge pathway, where you'd do the most damage. Either that or go post in the Jazz cafe carpark.

And you know what the best bit is?

By sharing this all with you guys, when^Wif I get arrested, under the Prevention of Terrorism Act, you will all automatically get arrested too!

How cool is that? Our tax money at work!

Swine Flu Piglet

For the lovely @sazchik, and to the tune of "Pinball Wizard":

Ever since I was a tourist
And I went to Mexico
Then headed back to Brighton
To the hopsital I go
But I ain't seen nothing like him
In any farmer's field
That deaf, dumb and blind pig
Sure has a mean swine flu

He stands like a statue
Becomes part of the disease
Sniffing with a runny nose
And making us all sneeze
He snorts and he snuffles
Passes his germs on to you
That deaf, dumb and blind pig
Sure has a mean swine flu

He's a swine flu piglet
There's got to be a twist
A swine flu piglet
And now the WHO are pissed

How do you think he does it?
(I don't know)
What makes him so ill?

He ain't got no distractions
Can't hear those sirens and bells
Don't see lights a flashin'
The cops are pigs as well
He's now quite infectious
He'll end up killing you
That deaf, dumb and blind pig
Sure has a mean swine flu

I thought I was
The ER table king
But I just handed
My sickness crown to him

The media are in a frenzy
And we're all gonna die
But I'm still eating bacon
My wife is asking why?
He's got crazy freakish symptoms
Pork chops will finish you
That deaf, dumb and blind pig
Sure has a mean swine flu

Rock on!

Best baby stroller idea ever

The Xtracycle FreeRadical

I've always been a keen cyclist, and my pride and joy is my 2001 Cannondale F700. I've done over 70k miles on it, and it has never let me down. One of the best investments I've ever made - it is hand made by Cannondale using Win and Awesome as the main components.

However, it's not that great for quick trips to the shops. Where I live most shops are within an easy bike ride, but even with a capacious backpack, it can be difficult to lug everything back again. Also, even my heavily battle scared Cannondale just screams "Expensive bike!", and no matter how extreme my locks and security precautions are, I'm always a bit leery of leaving it outside a shop.

So, what I really needed was a cheap crappy old bike, and some way of converting it to being a load carrier.

I developed all sorts of pretty crazy ideas, but never got round to building any of them - mostly because they would have resulted in me being killed in some horrific road crash, when it all disintegrated underneath me.

I thought about trailers, but they're too unstable for my liking - I don't like the way they change the handling of the bike, and they're a bugger to manoeuvre when you're not riding.

Then I came across a bunch called Xtracycle, who make this awesome kit called the FreeRadical. It basically bolts onto your frame, and extends your bike to enable it to carry some serious loads.

So, I picked up a £10 donor bike from a jumble stall at our local May Fair, headed over to the lovely chaps at Practical Cycles in the UK.

On a related note - why do people throw away old bikes like that? A new set of inner tubes and tyres costs less than £20. A new chain is only £15 and a new rear cog set can be had for around the £20-£30 mark.

Seriously, if I wasn't doing the FreeRadical build, I could have put this £10 bike on the road, suitable for everyday commuting use, for under £80. £30 or so would have make it perfectly serviceable for occasional use.

Anyway, I've documented my build up on my Xtracycle FreeRadical Flickr photoset.

I'm a total amateur when it comes to bike maintenance. I've always taken my Cannondale to my local bike shops - I've adjusted the brakes and greased the chain and that's been about it. The only extra tool I needed for this build was a bike chain tool (£5) - I already had sockets and spanners. Everything was very straightforward and easy, and took about 3 hours in total. The instructions could have done with some more pictures, which would have made it easier to figure out a few parts - but this is something easily do-able by any budding bike mechanic.

The finished bike is a pleasure to ride. You don't notice the extra length at all, and it can be easily picked up via the FreeRadical frame and carried under one arm. It took two of my kids round the block quite happily.

Xtracycle's FreeRadical kit is excellent. It's simple and it works, and I've ended up with a very practical load carrier that's going to be put to heavy use for shopping trips, taking the kids to school, and heading off to the recycling bins.

The Brick Testament

I was recently introduced to this and had to share via Twitter. Key chapters of the Bible have been recreated - in Lego. The build quality and photography are top notch, and the passages chosen are also fantastic.

The Book of Revelation in particular is a great read ;-)

Head over to The Brick Testament for more fun.

The childcatcher is alive and well

Failblog delivers the latest as he is tracked down to New Delhi. If you've never watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang then:

1. this will merely be an amusing picture, as opposed to a hilarious one
   
2. you led a deprived childhood. I mean, come on!
   

And just in case you totally missed out - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was written by Ian Fleming (author of considerable James Bond fame) and was directed by Albert 'Cubby' Broccoli (of James Bond films fame). It also starred the excellent Desmond Llelwyn (of Q from the James Bond films fame).

Roald Dahl wrote the screenplay based on Ian Fleming's original novel, and Benny Hill and Barbara Windsor also starred. An epic film!

Giant fire spitting robot terrorises Roppongi

More awesomeness from our friends in Japan, who clearly know how to party.

Sculptor Kenji Yanobe’s Giant Torayan robot, a 7.2-meter (24-ft) tall mechanical baby that sings, dances and spits fire, was sighted in Tokyo’s Roppongi district last night. The fire-breathing robot spent the night on center stage at “Roppongi Art Night,” an all-night event featuring installations and performances by dozens of artists at various venues in Roppongi.

Those wacky Japanese

You've probably seen those claw machines at an arcade or shopping centre. Put in some money, try and steer the robot claw to pickup a cuddly toy.

Dull.

The Japanese have upped the ante in claw based entertainment. Mobile phones, pornographic DVDs - and now, boobs.

No, those are not onions or swedes.

Friday fun - what do you like to do?

I have some chaps on a windsurfing forum to thank for this one:

1. Go to Google
2. Type in "(yourname) likes to"
3. Copy and paste the first 10 search results back into this email, and share the love


Fat Tom likes to boogie
Tom likes to role play
Tom likes to play Disc Golf
Tom likes to jack off
Tom likes to see Katie in bowl cuts and men's suits
Tom likes to spend his time hanging out with friends
Tom likes to CLIMB OVER JOHN MAYER'S FENCE
Tom likes to Look
Tom likes to come to the matchs with a new joke or two each week
Tom likes to visit the zoo

Have at it! :-)

Give it a go, share the results via Twitter or add your blog post's URL to the comments.

Kill it with hammers!

This is pretty horrific, and will be haunting my dreams for many nights to come.

Aquarists at the Blue Reef Aquarium in Newquay have discovered the identity of a mysterious killer that had been devastating their coral reef display over recent months.

Staff at the award-winning attraction had been puzzled by violent attacks on their fragile living reefs - in some cases the corals had been literally cut in half.

After staking out the display for several weeks, aquarists decided as a last resort to take it apart rock by rock.

Halfway through the process the terrifying perpetrator was finally revealed - a monstrous four-foot-long giant reef worm.

Read more at the Blue Reef Aquarium site.